I'm SO FREAKING AWESOME!

I'm amazing. I'm awesome. You may think I'm bragging, but I'm really just telling it like it is. Ready for my announcement? I've been to the gym FIVE times this week! Yes! Five whole times! This week I've jumped over TWO big hurdles. One: I went to the gym after work. Two: I went to the gym before work. Maybe not a big deal to some folks, but a great big giant deal to me. I'm a creature of routine and when I work a mid-shift (ex., 10-7 or 11-8) I don't really feel like going before OR after. It's just the way it is. I can't seem to get out of bed early enough, and then after work it messes with the whole dinner time thing. Last week I went to the gym five times, too, but it was easier. I had three closing shifts, so it's pretty much a no brainer to go before work. And then, I went on my two days off. Also, pretty easy. Fitting in a workout around my work schedule will be challenging sometimes and I want to know in my head that I can do it. Of course, knowing it and doing it are two different things, but this week I did BOTH. Gosh. It's so good to take care of myself.

Wanna know something weird I do in the shower? (With an opener like that, how can you NOT want to know what it is??) When I'm all naked and looking at myself with honest eyes, I give myself a hug and tell my body that I love it. That I'm taking care of it now, and paying attention to all of the great things it does for me. I mean, really. Our bodies are amazing. They do whatever we tell it to do! Imagine having that much control over someone! (As a control freak, I find that very interesting.) I'm very willful, stubborn, and determined. In the past, I've never been able to apply those characteristics to my health. I see a change coming!

I was talking to a friend of mine and said that I had been doing pretty good with going to the gym and then the holidays hit. She was understanding and sympathetic since we both work in retail. "But," I said, "healthy people go to the gym even during the holidays. I'm going to have to start thinking like that." She said, "Who are those people??" I said, "I dunno, but maybe I need new friends!!" Sweetie and I are going to a birthday celebration for his dad this weekend. Today, in fact. When we were making the plans, in my head I said, "I'll have to go to the gym before we go so I can get my five in this week." What??? When did that voice get in there? I LOVE IT! I repeated that conversation to a girl that works for me and she said that the voice belonged to Healthy Diva. I replied that Healthy Diva better hurry up and get buff because all the other voices in there will soon kick her ass.

I sincerely hope that I stay this motivated. Please please please. I'm thankful that I'm on the right path. I'm thankful that I'm even ABLE to work out. Last year, I had back surgery and was basically a prisoner in my own body for months. I swore that I never wanted that to happen to me again. I can't imagine anything worse. I know in my head that I have to take care of this body, this vehicle that moves my heart and soul and thoughts around if I don't want to end up a burden to my family. Plus, and this is a big deal to me, I have to take care of my body so I can do all the cool things I want to do before I die. I want to go hang-gliding! I want to go snow-boarding! Ever see a fat person do those things?? I haven't. :sigh: There's a long road ahead of me. Right this minute, I think that road will be fun to navigate. I know that I won't always feel this motivated. That's when I need my peeps to help me out! So, if you are tired of hearing me talk about my journey to fearlessness, keep it to yourself. I need to keep this fresh in my mind. I need to keep talking about it. I helps keep me accountable.

So, wedding dress shopping will happen in March. Wonder where I'll be then? Trip to Mexico happens in June. Can't wait to see where I am then! It's so freaking exciting!!!